2 months to go!

Happy Easter!

Easter in Cambodia isn't exactly like Easter in Canada - it's a little same, same but different (which is a popular t-shirt saying here). 

Today, we had an Easter service at church. Most of the songs were in Khmer, so I can't necessarily sing along, but I love hearing the Cambodian people worshipping God in their language. We had a potluck lunch afterwards, featuring rice, curry, and stirfried chicken/veggies, so not exactly a "traditional Easter meal", but still delicious! Karen and I were chatting about how the cultural differences are clear in the way the potluck was set up. There was a long table with all the food, and people serving, but there was no semblance of a line. You just kind of went up and pushed your way through to get what you wanted. That's usually how it tends to work here - if you wait patiently in line, you will be waiting forever. And come to think of it, that's basically how Cambodian traffic patterns work too! So some things are different from how life works in Canada... but other things are same, same! We met at church for the purpose of celebrating Jesus' death and resurrection, and then shared food in community. My family is far away, but I'm so thankful that community is found all over the world. 

I have two months left of teaching here, and then Karen and I will travel to Vietnam for a little while before I head back to Canada for my beautiful friend Cassy's wedding in June!  It is really hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I have just two months of left of "this life" - two months left of everything that has been my world for the past two years - the culture, the friends, the food, the way of life. My plan is to tell my students this week that I won't be coming back next year, and I know it's going to be hard news for them to hear, especially those who I've taught for 2 years. They will miss me, and I will miss them, but I am comforted by the fact that I will hopefully get to see them again - maybe come back for a visit in a few years and see how they've grown! It has been such a joy to be a part of their lives. 

I know that I will get questions like "But why are you leaving, Miss Alyssa?" "Other teachers are staying - why can't you stay too?" And those questions are hard to answer when I don't really even know! I don't know exactly why I'm leaving, and I don't really know what my next step will be. I have peace about closing this chapter though, and since I made that decision, I haven't really looked back. New adventures and challenges await me on the other side of the world.

I have had some hard days over the past two years for SURE... times when it felt like I would never recover from the exhaustion I felt, times when it seemed like the school year (or even the day of school) would never be over, times when I felt like I couldn't handle one more minute of the intense heat... and as I've said before, my natural instinct is always to want it to be over, and to wait impatiently for the "next thing" - that time of life when I won't have any conflict to deal with or hard stuff to wrestle through. I have started realizing though that if that's my attitude, I'll be waiting forever.  Something that I heard somewhere a little awhile ago (not sure where?) that has really stuck with me is that this season is not just something to "get through", but this is where life is.  It's easier to see how true that is now that my time left here is coming to a close so soon.

So here's to me trying to treasure every moment I have left in this beautiful country.

See you soon, Canada peeps! 

Changes...

At this point, I haven't told too many people about the big decision that I've made... And even writing it out on here is a little scary. But I also know that I am not the first to make this decision and I won't be the last. (Reading this article made that much clear to me --> The Transition that Never Ends)

I've decided that once this school year is finished, I'll be leaving this land I've come to love, and moving back to Canada.

I've wrestled with this decision.

Leaving Cambodia means leaving behind this Asian life of...
- driving a moto
- speaking (a little bit of) a foreign language
- teaching grade 4 at Asian Hope International School (and being a part of the incredible staff community here)
- being known as Ms. Aryssa or Ms. Aleeeessa (depending on the student)
- eating Cambodian curry (my FAVOURITE)
- drinking delicious and cheap iced coffees and bubble tea
- being a part of a wonderful Khmer church, "Water of Life"
- living with Karen in our wonderful 2 bedroom apartment
- incredible, powerful rainstorms (that are awesome when you're not stuck in them!)
- bizarre sights, sounds, smells, cultural norms and traditions... never a dull moment here.

It means saying goodbye... I anticipate some painful goodbyes to come... students, co-workers, friends. I'm tearing up writing this because I know that leaving Cambodia means leaving behind a part of my heart.

It means having to re-work and re-shape this new identity that I've embraced over the past year and a half... as an overseas teacher, as an expat, as a "local" foreigner.  It also means potential "re-entry culture shock", which I've heard can be unexpectedly challenging.

But it also means...
- reunions with friends and family that I haven't spent time with in person for a long while
- meeting my cousin's little baby who will be almost a year by the time I get home!
- winter! (I'm sure I'll be done with it after a couple weeks of snow, but still!) ;)
- and with winter, comes scarves, boots, cuddling up under warm blankets, skating, skiing, etc.
- holidays spent with family
- not having to sweat all the time (woohooo!)
- a new job of some kind (not totally sure what yet.)
- a whole lot of unknowns...
- new beginnings.

In this process of praying about and deciding what the next step is for me, I've had a lot of mixed feelings. I've felt some guilt about leaving... wrestling with God's calling in my life, and feeling guilty about leaving my students, especially. But in the past few months I've also felt freedom to make the choice and trust God with the rest. This season in Cambodia has been an equally hard and beautiful season. I've learned so much and have grown so much, and with a little over 6 months of school still to go, I know my learning and growing here isn't finished yet!

I think that all the learning and growing is another reason I'm a little apprehensive and fearful about moving back to Canada. I realize that I'm not the same person as I was when I left. I cannot identify all the ways I've changed, but I know that it's impossible to do life in a foreign country for two years and not return as a changed person. I also realize that the people I love back in Canada have changed, too.

It's really cool to look back in my journal from the past year and a half (although I haven't been as diligent a journaller as I would like to be...), and to clearly see God's faithfulness as the thread that runs through all the pages. My first entry in my journal was written on the plane, on my way to Cambodia, and so much of it is about the mixed feelings I felt then, too. I was both scared and excited about many things I was about to experience. Looking back, I can see how God has been so faithful to carry me through this season. He answered my prayers - showed me that there wasn't any reason to be afraid. Again, he is calling me to trust him, and so I will.

One month.

(Fun fact! The girl with the hula hoop on the top of my blog is actually in my class this year! It's kind of neat that I took that picture from the school website long before I ever moved to Cambodia, never thinking I would actually teach that girl. When I opened my blog today, I realized it for the first time :) It was taken a few years ago, so she is a lot bigger now, but Karen had her as a student last year and said she is very proud to be on the school website! ) 

Flying over the Rocky Mountains

Guangzhou, China

It has been one month (and two days!) since i arrived back in Cambodia. It seriously feels like it has been WAY longer than that. Even when Karen and I had only been back for a week, we kept having to remind each other than it had only been a week. I think it's because once I got back, it felt as if I had never left. Life in Canada is SO incredibly different from life here - in every way (culture, language, climate, food, transportation, friends, church, quality of roads, etc.). It's almost like living on two different planets. When I was in Canada, it was hard to imagine that normal life was still going on here in Cambodia, and now that I'm back here, it's strange to think about normal life continuing for everyone else in Canada.

Back in a Tuktuk! I actually haven't had many tuktuk rides this year since Karen and I got a second moto. We each have our own now!  

My favourite part about our new apartment - the balcony :) 

I'm currently sitting in a coffeeshop (aka the land of air conditioning)- my favourite place to blog - since the power in my apartment building is out and it is just too hot and dark to stay in there for the afternoon.

(Ironically enough, the minute after I wrote that, the power in the coffeeshop went out... go figure. This is the #cambolife !)

I'll be honest with you.... (as much as I hate being honest sometimes. Being honest means being vulnerable. Ugh, who likes being vulnerable...)  I didn't really want to blog today, even though I felt like I should. It's easier to talk/blog about struggles once we're on the other side, isn't it?  It's a lot harder to talk/blog about those struggles when we're still working through them.

Something I've been thinking about lately is that as humans, we are generally quite unsatisfied with the day to day "normal" of life. We live from one big moment to the next, or even sometimes one weekend to the next. We are always looking for something to look forward to. Or at least I am... I guess I can only speak for myself.  There is definitely a discontentedness in my heart that I wrestle with daily. I want the big moments - the fun adventures, the "instagrammable" trips and holidays... and I struggle in the in-between. The problem with this is that the in-between is actually what makes up real life. It's the realistic, sometimes messy, waking-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn, exhausted-at-the-end-of-the-day normal. The big moments are rare compared to the normal moments of life. So there's been a lot of heart wrestling going on in the past month - praying, and asking God to help me see the gifts in each normal day. I hate the discontentedness that I see in my own heart, and it bothers me that I still struggle with this (and maybe always will...), even though I know (and believe!) what the Apostle Paul writes in Philippians about the secret to being content.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in ANY and EVERY situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:11-13)

This school year so far has been a struggle... The group of students I have this year brought with them some different types of challenges than the group I had last year, and even if they were a "perfect class", the beginning of the school year is always hard. Setting up routines, establishing norms and expectations, getting to know a new group of learners and their various needs, meet the teacher night (coming up this week)... it has been exhausting. Mentally and emotionally, I've been feeling pretty drained. It doesn't help that Cambodians are really honest people, and they've let me know more than once lately that I look tired. I know they are right.

Of course that isn't to say that there haven't been beautiful moments - of learning, of seeing lightbulb moments for kids, of reuniting with students from last year (precious!) and of building relationships with new ones. In some ways this year has been easier than last year - at least I am teaching the same grade again (grade 4) so most of the content isn't new (although I am also teaching literacy to grade 5s as well). But something I've realized more fully lately is that teaching is a type of job that never stops. I knew that going into it, but it's becoming more of a reality for me lately. As someone who is detail-oriented, and has perfectionistic tendencies, I think some of my exhaustion can be attributed to the fact that my mind never shuts off... Even as I try to fall asleep, even when I'm in the shower, even when I'm riding my moto to school, I'm always thinking about my job - what changes to make to the groups my students are in, different strategies to improve my classroom management, forms I need to collect from them, lesson plans I need to finish, resources I need to gather, things I need to print off, things I need to get photocopied... I really can't turn it off. And I'm not entirely sure that it's a healthy way for me to live. Having experienced the life of a teacher for a little over a year now, I have more respect than ever for the teachers that I had growing up.

For those who are "pray-ers", please keep praying - I definitely need His strength. Continue to pray that I would get enough rest, and that I would also be able to have wide-open eyes to see the many joys of living and teaching here in Cambodia. In the upcoming months, I will also be making a big decision about next year, so keep praying that I would have discernment and clear thoughts about that decision.

On a more exciting note, my parents will be here in Cambodia in just over 6 weeks! Their visit here is definitely one of those "big moments" that I'm really looking forward to. I can't wait to show them around Phnom Penh and have them experience some pieces of my life here :) We will also be visiting a few different places in Thailand during their time here, so I am super excited to see a new country and the incredible beauty that is there. Pray also for their travels here and that all the last minute details would be taken care of!

Here are some more pictures of Cambo year 2:

Cambo rainy season

Staying dry while representing my homeland!

Karen, Anna and Anthony - on our motos 

Before the first day of school...

A little more of the "Real-life" Cambo... this is taken from the roof of our apartment, and shows a bit of what their construction standards are like... 

From the roof! I love this view.

Bubble tea always brightens my day. 

A few of my little monkeys.

Learning about Children's Rights. "Every child has the right to play"

"Every child has the right to shelter" 

Baymax, from "Big Hero 6" will always take care of you. 

Spelling homework: "My mom and dad were enjoying the weeding party... Ms. Alyssa and her family are planning to Thailand on this October!" 

"I want to go in a Pyramid so I could see a king mummy, then I will ask him to take a selfie with me"

Eating dim sum with Karen... reliving memories of our trip to Hong Kong last April!

You know you're at a gym in Cambodia when it is totally empty and only about 1/2 of the machines actually work.

Love to you all, friends! <3 Thanks for reading!

Home? - Part 2.

Wow. What a whirlwind of a month it has been.

So many thoughts, emotions, processing, laughs, tears, friends, family, yummy food, love, and beauty. I really didn't know how I would feel being back in Canada again. I was actually a little apprehensive about the summer, like I talked about in my last post, not knowing what being at home would be like, or how I would feel about it.
... Whether or not I would find it hard to accept that a lot has changed.
... Whether or not I would feel out of place.
... Whether or not I'd have reverse culture shock, as I had been told to be prepared for.
... Whether or not I'd find it weird to be the racial majority again (since I had gotten used to being the minority in Cambo).
... Whether or not I'd be freezing cold all of the time.

My first day or two here was WEIRD. I had basically forgotten about many "normal" aspects of how life is done here, like how to drive (like seriously forgot how to start a car... my parents were concered, haha), how to use my debit card, how expensive everything is (and taxes on top of that!), how to fill up my car with gas, tipping at restaurants, how carpet felt under my feet, that the sun doesn't set until 9:00 pm!! (compared to 6:30 pm all year round in Cambo), that it's okay to walk in my neighborhood at night, etc.

But after a few days, I had gotten over jet lag and had re-adjusted to a lot of those things already. It's amazing how adaptable we are as humans, especially when we return to what we've known for so long.

My adjustment here has been surprisingly smooth and my time here has been refreshing and full of joy. But now comes the honesty... The strange thing is that even though I am thankful for the wonderful break I am having, an expected and strong emotion that I've been wrestling with is guilt. The same questions always seem to be buzzing around my head…

"Is it wrong that I love being home again?" 

"Shouldn't I be counting down the days to return to the people and country I'm serving?"

"It is self-centered to be greatly appreciating the conveniences of life here... like a dryer, shopping for clothes that actually fit, more selection in food, cooler weather, sweaters & scarves, talking to friends and family without having to rely on sketchy Skype..?"

I’ve heard it said that comparison is the thief of joy, and I’ve seen that to be true time and time again in my life. I am easily tempted to compare myself to friends and other missionaries who feel really called to serve in Cambodia (or other places in the developing world) long-term. In my head, I know that each of our stories are different – that God will use our unique lives in different ways – but my heart is so prone to those feelings of comparison.

I’m not saying I don’t love the life and adventures I’ve been able to have (and will soon again have!) in Cambodia.

I’m not saying I don’t want to go back.

I’m not saying I don’t miss the people who have found their way into the deep parts of my heart this year.

I know I’m supposed to go back. I know that God led me to this school, this opportunity, and that is was for a reason that I signed a two-year contract.  For this season, I am a teacher at Asian Hope International School, and I am so thankful for the ways I’ve grown and the blessings I’ve seen, big and small, because I am living and teaching in Cambodia. 

This past weekend was so good for my heart – exactly what I needed. I got to reunite with some of the wonderful friends I made this year in Cambodia, as we went to Charleston, South Carolina, to witness the simply beautiful marriage of our dear friends Anna and Anthony. Karen and I got to spend a lot of time together, exploring Charleston and reliving memories from the past year. This weekend made me really excited to go back to my second home in Phnom Penh and to see what’s in store for my next year of life there.

I recently read a book that I can’t get off of my mind. It’s called “The Hardest Peace” and was written by a woman named Kara Tippetts, who recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. The book was published before she passed away, and in it she shares her story and how God has used the hard of cancer to show her His grace in the small moments. Her blog was called “Mundane Faithfulness.”

That book is totally rocking my perspective... As I sit here and think about the decision of whether or not I will renew my contract at Asian Hope. At this point in my life, this decision is my “hard.” But, unless I die tomorrow, I can know with confidence that more “hard” is to come. And chances are that I will look back later in life at this decision and say something along these lines to my 25-year-old self, “You thought that was hard? You had no idea what was coming.” Because it’s that how life works? There is always hard… sometimes hard that feels impossible. I cannot believe the hard that Kara had to endure in her short life of 30-something years. But, as Kara so beautifully writes in her book, there is also beauty. And that beauty is most appreciated after and during the experience of trial, struggle, suffering, challenge, sickness, and pain.

Many parts of Kara’s book hit me profoundly. In one section, she talks about the small book, “The Prayer of Jabez” that was popular among Christians awhile ago. The book focused on a small verse in 1 Chronicles 4:10: “Jabez called upon the God of Israel saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!”  In her book, Kara says, “…We liked what this verse seemed to offer – plenty without pain. Who didn’t want the offerings of great borders and no suffering? … I grieve my own thirst for comfort, ease, plenty without pain… I would be lying if I said I still don’t long for those extended borders in my life and he absence of pain. But what if that prayer was meant for Jabez and simply for Jabez? Maybe the part of the prayer that is meant for each of us if that God’s hand might be with us. And simply that. …We all wanted more and ease, and we wanted to use God to get it. But we are not the Author of our story. We are the characters.”

So maybe I need to get over myself and realize that it’s not about me. Maybe it’s not about whether or not I return to Cambodia after next year. Maybe it’s about a bigger story God is weaving through each of our lives. Reading Kara’s book made me understand that so much of that story, I am not yet aware of. So much more hard and so much more beauty is still to come in my life and in all of our lives. It’s not something we like to think about… We are scared about what we do not yet know. We want control. We want to know each next stage that is coming. But we are forced to accept that that’s just not how life works, no matter where we live or what we do.

Nothing comforts me more than knowing that God knows. There is no reason to fear, and no reason to worry about anything more than today. My prayer is that God would continue to teach me, like Kara, to learn to live faithfully in every moment; in the joy, in the hard, and in the mundane.

Home?

It's been awhile...

I've wanted to blog, and have sat down several times with that purpose, but for some reason, it just hasn't happened. I find writing really therapeutic, and it helps me to process my thoughts, but lately I haven't felt like I have all that much to say.

How can I not have much to say, when I live in a world so different from what I've known my whole life? 

One reason that comes to mind is that this "foreign land" is slowly starting to feel like "home"... I feel quite comfortable here, and the initital adjustment period has come and gone. When I arrived here EIGHT MONTHS AGO (where did the time go??), some of the sights (as well as sounds and smells!) were overwhelming. My only reaction was to stare and my only thought was, "What in the world?!" Now, those same sights don't even get a second glance from me...

It's "normal" to see a live pig strapped lengthwise across the back of a moto, its limbs flailing with every bump in the road, or to see someone leaving the hospital riding on the back of a moto with an I.V. still attached, and carrying their I.V. pole!

It's "normal" to tower above all the people who walk by me by on the street and Karen and I are pretty used to getting stared at as we drive our moto in our long skirts (I'm sure it is a funny sight for the Cambodians to see!).

It's "normal" for me to start sweating the minute I get out of the shower (Hello, Hot Season!) and to escape to air-conditioning whenever possible.

Although teaching here seemed like a daunting task at the beginning of the year, it's also now "normal" for me to spend each day learning and growing alongside 21 amazing kids who definitely all have a piece of my heart.

But, of course, in some ways, I don't think I am ever going to feel totally at home here, even if I lived here my whole life. I'm not Khmer (Cambodian). I can't change the colour of my skin or the culture I was born into.

So, I guess that leaves me somewhere in between... and maybe, deciding to move away from Canada and live over here for at least 2 years, means that I will always be in the in-between. I'm so looking forward to spending the summer at "home" in Canada, but I know that it's unrealistic for me to expect that things will be exactly as I left them. A lot can change in a year, and I know that the people I love are not all in the same spot of life as they were when I last saw them in July... and really, neither am I. I don't think about that fact as often, but I know that living here has changed me too.

Only time will tell, and as a person who likes to have a plan and know what's going to happen, it is definitely stretching me to not know. Two of my closest friends (/roomies/coworkers) here have already committed to teaching at our school for a third year, but I haven't felt like that's a decision I can make either way at this point. I do know two things for sure though:

1. I will be coming back to Cambodia in July to teach grade 4 for a second year, after spending 7 weeks in Canada.

2. God is faithful.

He has shown so much of his faithfulness this year in the way that He has sustained me through the harder days, and in the amazing blessings he has given me (on top of providing for my every need!). No matter where I end up after next year, I know that God is faithful - always has been, always will be.

Now for a few quick updates:

- My students threw me an amazing surprise birthday party, and I had a wonderful time celebrating my quarter-of-a-century, Cambo-style!

- I have 8 weeks of teaching left before the end of the year, and in exactly two weeks, I will be in Hong Kong with two of my friends, over Khmer New Year! I am really looking forward to a break, and to exploring such a cool city.

- I had parent-teacher conferences last week, which went very well but were exhausting. It was great to talk with my students' parents, and to hear what some of their kids say about me at home!

- I am still taking Khmer lessons, every Saturday afternoon. I've learned a lot in the last 6 months and can understand some of what I overhear. Speaking is definitely more of a challenge than listening/understanding, but it's coming slowly... very slowly.. haha

Thanks for reading :)
And to all of you Canadian friends and family, see you in 2 months! 

#christmasincambo

Once again, it's been awhile...

When you live in a culture that is so radically different from your own, there is never a shortage of things to process and blog about, but for some reason I seem to find it difficult to actually sit down and figure out how to put into words what I want to say.  Then, by the time I do eventually sit down and write, I am overwhelmed by the amount of "updating" I feel I need to do.  So today instead of a list of detailed updates about everything that's gone on over the last few months, I'm going to free myself of that pressure and just write what's on my heart today. If you want to see what I've been up to, photos on facebook capture the bulk of it... except for my daily interactions with my precious (but sometimes crazy/hyper/mischievous) students... which I guess IS why I'm here in the first place! ;)  

This Christmas was beyond strange. It was beautiful in its own way, but that doesn't change the fact that it was weird! For my whole life I've lived in a place in which the "indicators" of the Christmas season are endless... snow, freezing cold, jackets, christmas lights on houses, candy canes, carols playing at shopping centres, Christmas-y smells, Christmas movies on TV, the season of advent at church, etc...   Here in Cambo, some of those indicators are suprisingly still present, like some Christmas decorations at more "Western" coffeeshops and stores, but many indicators are nowhere to be found. For the past few weeks, my roommates and friends have been saying to each other, "It just doesn't FEEL like December" or "It can't possibly be Christmas so soon when it's still so hot out!" but it didn't matter how many times we said those words, Christmas still came and went, even here in hot Cambo. Fun fact - this is the coldest season of the year in Cambodia, and I am presently sitting in a coffeeshop wearing a sweater! ... The only reason I'm wearing a sweater though is because this coffeeshop is wonderfully air-conditioned and when you don't have many opportunities to wear sweaters, you take advantage when you can! It is still, by my standards, HOT outside, and I was sweating this morning in my tank top and shorts, but to the Cambodians, this kind of weather (in the mid to high twenties) is perfect for heavy winter coats, hats, and gloves. I sweat FOR THEM when they drive by me on their motos all bundled up, but they seem perfectly content!

The only snowflakes I saw this year...

... Snowflakes continued. 

Juliann and I took a lovely trip to Kep, a town about 4 hours away by bus, and then spent one day on Rabbit Island. Beautiful beach!!

The irony of Juliann sitting in front on the full-speed fan on Christmas morning. 

It was a huge blessing this Christmas to have a full house of people, includng my dear friend Juliann who came across the world to spend Christmas with me, and two other visitors. I loved having Juliann here and getting to introduce her to my "new" way of life - driving her around on the moto, eating Cambodian food (I HAD to give her the chance to try tarantula!), taking part in a super fun Cambodian cooking class, doing another traditional Khmer photoshoot (so much makeup, but such an experience!), teaching her a few phrases in Khmer, having her with me at school and introducing her to my students... My worlds collided and it was just so special to have a friend here who knew me way before coming here. I feel like I've known the people here for a lot longer than 6 months, but when I think about it, it's strange that there is no one here who knows me beyond that timeframe. Doing life together in Cambodia certainly has a way of bringing people together, and I feel so blessed that I have found such community (really, family) here, in the people I live and work with. I definitely missed being with my own family and relatives this Christmas, and it's hard to be so far away when there are a lot of exciting things going on in their lives, but it was special to Skype with them on my Christmas morning. I can't wait to see everyone again in just over 150 days (May 29th is my last day of school - my flights will soon be booked)!!! 

At our Cambodian cooking class, with our instructor "Lucky Two" - that was his real name, no joke.

The Christmas season is always busy and it was no different here. One moment that has not left my mind, though, was a simple comment made by one of my grade 4s. I bought my students small gifts (bracelets for the girls and toy geckos filled with sand for the boys) and wrapped them up with little cards for each of them. I wasn't sure how impressed they would be, but it filled me with joy to see their faces light up with excitement as they tore the wrapping paper open. One of my girls came up to me afterwards and said, "Ms. Alyssa, this was the best Christmas ever, because my family doesn't celebrate Christmas at home!" I was so humbled. In my mind, I knew that many of my students don't come from families who celebrate Christmas, but to hear her say those words made it real. It also brought me such joy this season to be able to remind these kids (and for some, to teach for the first time) about the true reason for Christmas. I am so thankful that my job gives me that freedom - I know I wouldn't find that freedom everywhere in the world.  Here in Cambodia, Christmas is just another day for the majority. For kids that go to public school, December 25th is just another school day! Blows my mind. But for the Cambodians who know and love Jesus, celebrating his birth is a joy-filled celebration! On Christmas Eve, Juliann and I (and our roomies) went to our church's candlelight service, and got to sing carols with the Cambodians - in English for us, and Khmer for them. This Christmas, I'm grateful beyond words that Jesus is not limited to a certain people group or language. 2000 years ago, God became flesh, Immanuel, God with us - that's ALL of us. And in the simplicity of what was #christmasincambo, He was here, even though the snow was not.  I'll close with the question I've asked myself (and struggled through, if I'm honest) this Christmas... is His presence enough for me?

Matthew 1:23 - "Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsXOP7aQeqQ

Christmas Eve candlelight service at Water of Life church.

It's been awhile...

I can't believe it's been almost two months since I last wrote on this blog! Overall, time seems to fly SO fast here, even though sometimes the school days feel long.

For those who missed it, I wrote a blogpost for an online magazine called Boundless and they published it last month! It was really exciting for me to get published on the site and I even got a few comments and messages from people I've never met who said that it had encouraged them. I love that It blows my mind that God could use my experiences to encourage others.  I'm so thankful for the ways He uses each of us, even when we feel we don't have much to give.
Here's my post :)  https://community.focusonthefamily.com/b/boundless/archive/2014/09/26/your-turn-even-if-i-never-see-the-fruit.aspx

Things have been so busy here ever since school started. We taught for 7 straight weeks and then had the opportunity to go to Koh Rong on a wonderful, refreshing, and rejuvenating 3-day trip. Koh Rong is an island off the coast of Cambodia, and it was paradise.

After vacation, it was a struggle to adjust back to the routine of school, as I guess it always is. My students provide little moments of joy for me each day though, and it is those moments that make this job worthwhile. To keep things realistic here, they also provide for me little moments of challenge or frustration each day... Sometimes they just decide they are in the mood to talk and not to listen, and I frequently have to stop and wait for them to settle down so I can communicate the instructions to them. I guess it means they are engaged and excited though, so I'll take what I can get :)

In topic (which is basically social studies/science/miscellaneous), we are currently studying "Materials" and last week we did an interesting activity about what clothing is made of and where it comes from. Each student brought in a piece of clothing and we did a tally chart to track which continent their piece came from. They were surprised to see that out of 21 pieces of clothing, 18 came from somewhere in Asia! When I asked them why they thought that was the case, most of them said it was because they live in Asia so of course that's where their clothes came from! They didn't fully understand as I tried to explain that the results would probably be similar if I did the same activity with a Canadian class. It led into an interesting discussion about factory workers, and different salaries in different countries. One of the reasons I love teaching is to be able to help open my students' perspectives on the world, so it was a neat conversation to have with them. They are only in grade 4, but they are old enough to be challenged to think critically. It's really cool to watch their eyes widen as they consider something they've never thought about before :)

Please excuse the messy writing... and the dirty board!

Two of my friends (Karen and Tash) and I are taking Khmer lessons together each Saturday for an hour an a half. Our instructor is a precious man (thanks for the recommendation, Rachel!), probably about 50 years old, who has lived in Cambodia his whole life. This past week, we heard some of his life story. He lived through the Khmer Rouge, a very dark time in Cambodia's history, and at a very young age, he was forced out of his city and separated from his family. We felt really honoured that he would share those times with us - we could tell that even now it's hard for him to talk about.

As for our lessons, let me just say, Khmer is NOT an easy language to learn, and even the basics are a huge challenge to grasp. It's a pretty hilarious sight to see as we stumble through our simple sentences, saying things like "I drink coffee with sugar" and "Can I please have the bill", but we're hoping that by the end of 2 years here, we will at least be conversationally fluent. It makes SUCH a difference to be able to speak the language and will do wonders at helping us get out of the "western tourist stereotype." One amusing thing from this past week is that we learned that the Khmer word for "map" is "panties" (pronounced "pawn-tease")!  Also, the word you use when speaking to an older man is "Puu" (which means Uncle). So if we need to direct a tuktuk driver who doesn't know where he is going, we will attempt not to laugh as we say, "Puu mien panties te?" (Do you have a map?)

To close, here are a few funny things I found when reading my students' writing books this weekend (I give them writing prompts every day, so I'll start with those)...

- "If I could hangout with two famous people, I want to hangout with Selena Gomez and Helen Keller because they are both girls and are kind, also good." (haha, most random combination ever!)
- "If I was a principal for a day, I would fire all the teachers and make the children my slaves. For the teachers, they will buy me food and coffee. The job that the children will have is to bring me all their work and they will start doing science when they are two years old."
- "If I could go to the moon for a day, I will die because in moon there is no air. In moon, it's so so cold. If we splash water, it will freeze in the sky."

Some of their similes (comparing two things using "like" or "as", just as a refresher, haha!):
- "A rat is as dirty as a trash left out of the sun for a month."
-  "If you have a rat at your house you are fancy like the king." (really?!) - "My class is so noisy, like an annoying orange. (Didn't quite get the point... What's an annoying orange?!) But my teacher is as nice as a humble person." (yay! points for me!)
- "Jesus is as real as my parents." (Amen, girl!) - "Money is as rare as an orca."
- "My brother is as strong as a sumo wrestler."
- "Miss Alyssa is as beautiful as a peacock, standing like a status, walking around the pond, and get back home for food." LOL
- "My mother is like a sea. If she is angry, she is like a big wave sea. If she smiles, she is like the quiet sea."
- "A puppy is as cute as a cute eye" (huh?)

Thanks for reading, friends!