I've wanted to blog, and have sat down several times with that purpose, but for some reason, it just hasn't happened. I find writing really therapeutic, and it helps me to process my thoughts, but lately I haven't felt like I have all that much to say.
How can I not have much to say, when I live in a world so different from what I've known my whole life?
One reason that comes to mind is that this "foreign land" is slowly starting to feel like "home"... I feel quite comfortable here, and the initital adjustment period has come and gone. When I arrived here EIGHT MONTHS AGO (where did the time go??), some of the sights (as well as sounds and smells!) were overwhelming. My only reaction was to stare and my only thought was, "What in the world?!" Now, those same sights don't even get a second glance from me...
It's "normal" to see a live pig strapped lengthwise across the back of a moto, its limbs flailing with every bump in the road, or to see someone leaving the hospital riding on the back of a moto with an I.V. still attached, and carrying their I.V. pole!
It's "normal" to tower above all the people who walk by me by on the street and Karen and I are pretty used to getting stared at as we drive our moto in our long skirts (I'm sure it is a funny sight for the Cambodians to see!).
It's "normal" for me to start sweating the minute I get out of the shower (Hello, Hot Season!) and to escape to air-conditioning whenever possible.
Although teaching here seemed like a daunting task at the beginning of the year, it's also now "normal" for me to spend each day learning and growing alongside 21 amazing kids who definitely all have a piece of my heart.
But, of course, in some ways, I don't think I am ever going to feel totally at home here, even if I lived here my whole life. I'm not Khmer (Cambodian). I can't change the colour of my skin or the culture I was born into.
So, I guess that leaves me somewhere in between... and maybe, deciding to move away from Canada and live over here for at least 2 years, means that I will always be in the in-between. I'm so looking forward to spending the summer at "home" in Canada, but I know that it's unrealistic for me to expect that things will be exactly as I left them. A lot can change in a year, and I know that the people I love are not all in the same spot of life as they were when I last saw them in July... and really, neither am I. I don't think about that fact as often, but I know that living here has changed me too.
Only time will tell, and as a person who likes to have a plan and know what's going to happen, it is definitely stretching me to not know. Two of my closest friends (/roomies/coworkers) here have already committed to teaching at our school for a third year, but I haven't felt like that's a decision I can make either way at this point. I do know two things for sure though:
1. I will be coming back to Cambodia in July to teach grade 4 for a second year, after spending 7 weeks in Canada.
2. God is faithful.
He has shown so much of his faithfulness this year in the way that He has sustained me through the harder days, and in the amazing blessings he has given me (on top of providing for my every need!). No matter where I end up after next year, I know that God is faithful - always has been, always will be.
Now for a few quick updates:
- My students threw me an amazing surprise birthday party, and I had a wonderful time celebrating my quarter-of-a-century, Cambo-style!
- I have 8 weeks of teaching left before the end of the year, and in exactly two weeks, I will be in Hong Kong with two of my friends, over Khmer New Year! I am really looking forward to a break, and to exploring such a cool city.
- I had parent-teacher conferences last week, which went very well but were exhausting. It was great to talk with my students' parents, and to hear what some of their kids say about me at home!
- I am still taking Khmer lessons, every Saturday afternoon. I've learned a lot in the last 6 months and can understand some of what I overhear. Speaking is definitely more of a challenge than listening/understanding, but it's coming slowly... very slowly.. haha
Thanks for reading :)
And to all of you Canadian friends and family, see you in 2 months!
